


What Rhymes with "Avenger"?

by McEnchilada



Series: Limericks Are Romantic [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Because he's ridiculous, Clint flirts with them some more, Crack, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Gratuitous use of bad poetry, M/M, The limericks have returned, and limericks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McEnchilada/pseuds/McEnchilada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The way to a man's heart is through his appreciation of really bad poems.</p>
<p>Or, just a lot of limericks. That's really all this is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Rhymes with "Avenger"?

**Author's Note:**

> There is nothing redeemable about this fic. Nothing. It's literally all limericks.
> 
> Contains poems from part one, _There Once Was an Agent at SHIELD_ , to put things on some sort of timeline.
> 
> Enjoy.

_There once was an agent at SHIELD,_

_Who, though I was fully healed,_

_Kept me with the meds,_

_Who filled me with dread,_

_Instead of letting me back in the field._

__

\- - -

__

_I'm thinking of jokes about dicks,_

_But the rhyme scheme always just sticks_

_This sounded so easy,_

_A poem made sleazy,_

_But nothing is seeming to click._

__

\- - -

_If I gave you requisition form 98B_

_And allowed processing for an hour or three_

_Could we get different beans_

_For our coffee machines?_

_This shit is more tasteless than me._

__

\- - -

_Would you perhaps care to join me for sparring?_

_I'm not sure SHIELD is everyone's calling._

_These juniors are so weak_

_I'm afraid they might break_

_And kicking their asses is boring._

__

\- - -

_So I've patiently waited for weeks,_

_But the coffee still totally stinks._

_It's bitter and gross,_

_More "burnt" than "dark roast",_

_And the coffee machines all have leaks._

__

\- - -

_I swear that I'm not to blame_

_For most of the fiery flames._

_Blame the R &D guys_

_Who ought to have tried_

_Their explosive arrows before hitting the range._

__

\- - -

_So you got hurt, which is shitty,_

_But I know you don't want any pity,_

_So I'm writing this poem_

_While you're totally stoned_

_So you'll maybe feel better, a bitty._

__

\- - -

_I'd love if you got better, like, now_

_So instead of just lounging around,_

_We'd be back in the field,_

_The best team at SHIELD_

_Because Hill is a nightmare, holy cow._

__

\- - -

_Jesus Christ, Stark is insane._

_I think captivity fucked with his brain._

_That's a crazy-ass suit_

_Equipped with rocket boots._

_I betcha it'll rust in the rain._

__

\- - -

_I simply do not understand_

_How everyone thinks you're so bland._

_If the juniors only knew_

_That under that suit_

_Is Captain America's number one fan._

__

\- - -

_Sorry that I'm such a dumbass_

_And that you had to clean up my mess._

_Thanks for keeping it real,_

_During my time at SHIELD,_

_You're the only one I'm going to miss._

__

\- - -

_"Keep an eye on her, Barton" sounds fine;_

_In fact, we had quite a good time,_

_Until Natasha went crazy,_

_And things got a bit hazy._

_Is it too late to change my mind?_

__

\- - -

_So Nat and I shot lots of bad guys,_

_The illustrious Widow and Hawkeye,_

_Undercover at a ball,_

_The fairest of them all._

_You know I really fucking hate wearing ties._

__

\- - -

_So when I jump from roofs, I'm insane,_

_But when you do it, you're just really brave?_

_I'm seriously pissed;_

_What if I'd missed?_

_Don't you dare ever do that again._

__

\- - -

_I've been here for over five years,_

_And this coffee still brings me to tears._

_I want one good cup,_

_That would be enough,_

_But it'll never happen, I fear._

__

\- - -

_I swear by my own fucking bow_

_These juniors are just begging to know_

_How well I can aim;_

_Am I really to blame_

_If I make just a couple of them explode?_

__

\- - -

__  
__~~So kissing you was totally great~~  


\- - -

__  
~~So about the other day out on the range~~  


\- - -

__  
~~I've been wanting to kiss you for ages~~  


\- - -

__  
~~Screw poetry, can we please just fuck?~~  


\- - -

_So that kiss a few days back was fun,_

_Until the world was ending and we had to run._

_But we've barely talked since,_

_And I've tried dropping hints,_

_Fuck it, do you want to go out for coffee sometime, like, now? Please?_

__

\- - -

_So I finally got into Phil's bed,_

_And discovered that he gives really great head._

_Many orgasms later,_

_I swear I've never had greater;_

_I foresee lots of awesome sex ahead._

**Author's Note:**

> For [Allora](http://mcartistic.tumblr.com/), who was feeling sad the other day, because there's almost no one else I love enough to write limericks for.


End file.
